Reality is far from virtual for Norwich City this season 🔰🖥️

I’ve not played Football Manager for a few years now. But if I’d been in charge of a virtual Norwich City this preseason I’d imagine it would have looked a bit different to the reality.

Transfers: Christoph who?

Sentiment may have seen me attempt to sign young Angus Gunn as my new number one – sorry Declan you would have been out on my watch too – but of the other signings none would have appeared on my radar. Indeed, with the limited processing power of my laptop they would not, in all likelihood, even have featured in my game.

If Newcastle knocked on my door with a big money offer for young Jacob I too would have cashed in, ensuring a hefty sell-on clause and performance related bonuses were weaved into the deal. In my view both twins have the potential to be average premier league players. But for that promise to be fulfilled they both need a huge amount of improvement. Nathan Redmond – different class in my opinion. I see him as a regular in England squads from now on. I doubt either J Murphy will see further international action – for the three lions at least. Feel free to disagree, but time will tell.

Philosophy: Room for change?

My team would be direct, with two out and out wingers, and hopefully a pacey striker. Howson and Dorrans would be forced to play despite their unhappiness – being top of the league at Christmas would sort that out – and Darren Huckerby would probably have been promoted to be first team coach, with Alan Irvine convinced to stay on as my assistant.

Thankfully for Norwich City fans everywhere I’ll never get to manage the team. One successful instalment of the popular franchise aside – Blackpool, multiple Premier League and Champions League winners, thanks Karl Oyston for naming your new stadium after me! – even my virtual management career has been a worse disaster than our own Alex Neil’s.

Onwards and upwards

One last nod to the wee Scotsman before we look forward. Wembley was one of the greatest days of my life. You gave me that Alex, and for that reason I’ll always love you. And you CamJam. Nathan, you’re in my dream team for a reason son. And you Russell and Wesley – my man crushes on you are dwarfed only by my love of David Beckham and the dreamy Tom Hardy. Russ, please, please have a storming season and shut the haters up. Thank you in advance.

As for the rest of Daniel Farke’s ‘guys’, I don’t really know what to expect. I’ve watched dodgy streams of the two German friendlies and little else of preseason. While that would make me well placed to annihilate the team on Canary Call, it doesn’t put me in a great place when looking ahead to the new season on a respectable forum such as this.


With that in mind, if I was virtual Delia Smith in a virtual management simulation game, my start of season expectations would go something like this:

“The minimum expectation is that the team win promotion from the skyBET Championship this season.

“You have no funds with which to achieve this.

“You will be allowed to retain the majority of any transfer income to supplement this budget.”

Over to you Daniel. Good luck.

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